Berry's gone. And it's funny, because I'm not feeling as ridiculously miserable as I thought I would be. I don't know, even I can say it's weird. He didn't leave a note or anything. He just left and I'm feeling pretty blank about it all. I can't describe how I'm feeling because it's almost as if there's nothing there. He told me to expect this though, so maybe that's what this is? Maybe I got so used to the idea that I just, adjusted. Maybe I've become acclimatised to disappointment, rejection and abandonment. Strong words yeah? Yeah. It's weird that I use those words because I don't really mean them. But I do! I'm so angry! Why aren't I good enough for anyone lately?

And I miss him. I know that much. I miss him and I love him just as much as I did a couple of days ago. I wish I could tell him. I mean, I've been telling 'him' but I'd really prefer to tell him. He's been replaced to. He's just as full of life as my 'parents.'

So everyone I know and love is slowly disappearing and I don't know where. Why can't I go too? I don't know that either. Have I done something wrong? Is this what hell is? Don't get me wrong, not big on all that sort of stuff, but maybe that's what heaven and hell are. Like, hell isn't actually a place...it's just getting left behind. Which I think is even worse than fire and brimstone...

There's a man standing at the other end of the yard......no, it's a man. It's THE man. From the other day? Great. A fake friend, lost parents and a stalker. I get all the fun stuff. Lucky, lucky Angie. I wish I could write more...but I have no idea what to put down. Everything seems pretty pointless and stupid and it's driving me crazy.